Smart things

Some of the smartest things I have done have been just rushed gut decisions. When my friend Kari asked me if I wanted to attend a yoga retreat she was going to and helping teach in Lucca, Italy  I just said "yes!!" without too much thought.  I love Italy and about 14 years ago I owned a yoga studio, it seemed like the perfect time to jump back in. My decision was simple....of course I wanted to go. I didn't put much thought into it over the last couple of months other than to contemplate the fact that I was completely out of shape. That was really my only thought. I didn't image where we would be or what our days would be like. I didn't think about what we would do or what Lucca would look like and I didn't think about the people that would be here. I'm a mom, I thought about leaving my family and preparing my business for my family to run while I was gone. 

I flew here overnight and didn't sleep on the plane so I was exhausted when I arrived. Which made the arrival that much more fun....numbness changed into pure bliss rather quickly.

Our neighbors home we view from our pooled terrace.

Our neighbors home we view from our pooled terrace.

We were driven up gorgeous steep and curvy roads that wove through beautiful stately homes in the mountains, up and and up higher and higher until we reached our destination. Our retreat is being held in a gorgeous mountain top villa that dates back to the 1500s. 

My bedroom is the one window above the trellis.

My bedroom is the one window above the trellis.

The estate has several guest houses with a patio and pool and gorgeous view. This is our entrance from the street. There are 10 students, 2 teachers, and an amazing staff of helpers and cooks. I hear that the masseuse is amazing but I won't meet her until Tuesday. We each have our own perfectly appointed bedroom. Some have private baths, some have shared baths. We have a large outside dining table by the pool and a lovely common room and yoga studio. There is also a steam room and laundry facilities available for use. Our vegetarian meals are made for us and are magnificent. 

Kari and Lisa on our first evening

Kari and Lisa on our first evening

Kari getting reacquainted with her old friend Oliver

Kari getting reacquainted with her old friend Oliver

Our first evening we had a yoga class before dinner.  It was restorative yoga and a wonderful way for all of the weary travelers to stretch out those muscles which had been jammed into airline seats and carrying heavy baggage.

Our dinner last night was a homemade vegetarian lasagna, Italian bread, salad, several vegetable side dishes and a gorgeous mixed cheese platter with dried fruit and walnuts for dessert. There is a glorious bowl of a variety of ripe wonderful seasonal fruits and tea and coffee fixings available to us at all times. There is a knife and cutting board near the fruit bowl. This easy and clever idea encourages us to dig into the fabulous fruit. The apricots are out of this world!

I slept like a rock last night in my lovely simple Italian bedroom. When my alarm went off at 7 am this morning I wondered, where it was I had to be. Wasn't I happily surprised when I remembered....yoga class in Tuscany!

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This morning's weather was outstanding. Warm and sunny. This is a view from our dining table. After another fabulous yoga class this morning we sat down to a homemade breakfast and fresh pressed juice. Kari brought us up to speed on our exciting schedule for the week and encouraged us all to sign up for massages. (I have learned to always take Kari's advice! That's what got me here!)

The morning was spent by all relaxing and having fun by the pool. I brought special Italian inspired paquets for the group and taught everyone who was interested how to needlepoint this morning under the Tuscan sun. It was great fun!! Two other students brought their gorgeous glass beads they make in Portland, Oregon and all had a lot of fun making necklaces. Many of us swam in this fantastic pool and some went off to play golf in Tuscany! 

This evening we all got to choose activities from Opera in Lucca to a road trip to another village. More on that tomorrow.  

Buona Notte!

 

The Smallest Church in America

This school year has become the year of road trips.  As our youngest child went off to college and we have unintentionally become the road trip couple...up and down the East coast multiple times between Southern Vermont and Southwestern Florida.  Some of these trips have been to get our little dog home for the holidays, some have been to visit children. A friend in Florida told me that every time they make these trips back and forth to New England, they stop somewhere new. Our newfound empty-nesty-ness is giving us just that freedom to explore all kind of treasures off the beaten path. This week on a drive between Charleston and Jekyll Island we found such a treasure....The Smallest Church in America.  My ever patient and always wonderful husband kindly turns around and pulls over when I start doing my "Oh!! did you see that?!?!" as we drive by such treasures. 

The Smallest Church in America ~  Darien, Georgia

The Smallest Church in America ~  Darien, Georgia

We were confused about all of the signs about cameras. I now know that the original church burnt down from arson and this one is the new church, rebuilt by volunteers.

We were confused about all of the signs about cameras. I now know that the original church burnt down from arson and this one is the new church, rebuilt by volunteers.

Twelves seats, a nod to the number of Apostles.

Twelves seats, a nod to the number of Apostles.

Kindness matters.

Kindness matters.

It was wonderful to visit this lovely site without the help of Google and knowing nothing about it, just stumbling across something interesting and taking it in without any knowledge about it's origin. The sign out front says "Built in 1949 by Mrs. Anges Harper and deeded to Jesus Christ". 

I have since learned that Mrs. Harper was a service station and grocery store owner who built this tiny church as a place to give back to her customers, a spot they could relax and have a peaceful moment on their journeys. She deeded this property in perpetuity to Jesus Christ and in the land records Jesus' address is "Heaven". 

A few years ago there was a fire and the original church burnt down.  It is believed that a vandal was using a blow torch to try and break into the donation box.  Volunteers donated the supplies and their time and rebuilt the church immediately.

Mrs. Harper used to bring blankets to the church for migrant workers. We found these pants and shoes with a kind note. Small acts of kindness are everywhere.

I must really blame Jenny!

The other day I accidentally changed the name of the blog page to "I blame Jenny". I only discovered this by looking at the analytics of this website on my phone and I noticed that my most dedicated website follower kept looking at "I blame Jenny". I was far from a computer and unable to change it, and really had a great laugh. If you know Jenny, you will share this laugh.

Jenny is my college roommate from Freshman year and one of my favorite people on the planet. 

In November, Jenny, and two of my other most favorite people on the planet, Sarah and Aimée (also very best friends from college) all came to visit me on this little island in Florida. A long overdue girls' weekend was had following a most wonderful 30th reunion at St. Lawrence University last spring. All three of these amazing women were instrumental in my life as a young woman. Thirty years ago- with them- I managed to get into all sorts of trouble, we laughed and laughed years worth of laughs, and we talked about everything under the sun as we grew from girls into young women.  Aimee and I also traveled the world together after graduation and visited almost all of the European countries on a fabulous walkabout. These women are part of the core of who I am.

Sarah, Aimée. Jenny, Tricia

Sarah, Aimée. Jenny, Tricia

 

Fast forward...November. How truly amazing to spend 4 days alone with these divine friends. No topics are taboo, no explaining who we are, with a deep understanding of each others parents, and a great desire to know all about each other's children and spouses we reconnected right where we left off. Our days were spent relaxing on the beach and riding golf carts into town- where Sarah did her usual amazing job as fashion stylist for each of us. Evenings were spent at my favorite restaurants eating the island's finest fare and enjoying copious amounts of tropical cocktails. ("copious" one of Sarah's wonderful words that reminds me of her every time I use it.)

But Jenny kind of ruined all the fun.... she started talking about weight and health. Damn it!

Jenny had tried the Whole30 with another college friend and was looking into doing it again. She fricking inspired us to give up dairy, alcohol, sugar, and carbs. Like some crazy preacher, we listened to her!! We had a farewell meal fit for queens on a gorgeous deck overlooking sunset on the gulf of Mexico. Farewell to each other, and farewell to all those food items we hold dear. 

There was a bet involved. We naturally divided into teams. Sarah, my partner in another adventure! This was the kind of bet only college friends make. Disgusting financial consequences  with pay offs to organizations you would never want to give money to. Plus there was the added bonus of the threat of dirty T-shirts designed by the other team to be worn on the streets of our hometowns. I can laugh now, but the threat was REAL! 

And thus I started the Whole30. 

The short version is that the first two weeks I was crabby as all hell as I detoxed not only from the items above but from diet coke. I thought I would miss wine, but in fact, I really missed my true love...gummy bears. I also missed Vermont maple syrup, which is hilarious, but I don't think I actually eat it that often. 

Once I got past the first two weeks I felt fantastic. REALLY, REALLY, FANTASTIC. I could breathe, I had amazing energy, and slept like a baby. I did the Whole30 for 37 days because I felt so good. I lost 10.5 pounds easily, no calorie counting, no portion control, just eating a fabulous paleo diet. 

Tomorrow I start again for another 30 days. This time there is a glorious light at the end of the tunnel. I was invited by a friend to join her at a yoga retreat this summer in Italy. Normally, I would have said no. The thought of getting in shape for this event would have seemed like too much! But this me says "YES" because I know with the whole30, I can do it. I just need to get myself back into the grove. Tonight we have really, really fun dinner plans with new friends. Tomorrow is a new day. 

As for the outcome of other challenge. Let's just say that in the end we are all winners because this challenge created a constant text conversation between the four of us. In honor of friendship we each donated to a cause we hold dear and we share the information on each cause with each other. The real win is the reconnection of a lifelong friendship with women I hold dear.

 

 

 

 

Health.

We had a health scare.  Everything is fine!! We are all good. But for two weeks, from December 20th til January 4th... I floundered in a state of full blown mother desperation and panic. I made a huge effort to suffer in silence, for talking about it, made it feel like a locomotive headed our way.  One of our boys had an endoscopy, and during the procedure, the specialist thought he saw “lesions” on our son’s vocal cords.  The irony was that the child in question was groggy from the  procedure and never processed the  “lesion” distress. Mothers, we happily carry the distress for our kids.   

We, our family, missed the bullet. After an afternoon with one of the best vocal cord doctors, we learned that there had been problems with the first round of photos caused by odd camera angles, and there are in fact no lesions. When they told me the news I burst into tears. My very confused 20 year old asked if I had been worried. HA!

I entered 2018 with one word on my brain. Health. My wish for you all out there is that you experience great health for you and your loved ones. No New Year’s resolutions this year. No goals. Just one word. To me 2018 is about gratitude for H E A L T H.

August 1, 2009 ~ After years of dating Donald and I got married- and we officially became a family!  Here is the best wedding party ever!! Dreams do come true!! Our backyard ~ Dorset, Vermont. 

August 1, 2009 ~ After years of dating Donald and I got married- and we officially became a family!  Here is the best wedding party ever!! Dreams do come true!! Our backyard ~ Dorset, Vermont.

 

 

 

Now that our kids are between the ages of 18 and 25 and living all over the world, it's hard to get them all in the same place at the same time....and when they are....I often get so wrapped up in the fun that forget to take a photo!! The top photo is the last photo I have of our children all together.. It's about 3 years old and was taken in Lyme, Ct. by my brother-in-law Phil.

 

It takes a village of Vermonters to make the perfect pillow

Jumping for joy at seeing daughter Brooke's elephant pillow in the January issue of Better Homes and Gardens!! Thank you to Sarah Hadden (highlighted in another blog post) for stitching this gem and to Maria Timmerman at In Stitches in Dorset, Vermont for everything. She finished this pillow in dreamy purple velvet! In Stitches is one of my all time favorite needlepoint shops. Maria knows color better than anyone I know. She does all of my personal finishing.  I'm so proud of Brooke!!

 

 

 

 

Feeling immense gratitude for all of the people who keep the roads safe....

My intended lovely little road trip with my eldest daughter Brooke, actually turned into quite an ordeal!!! Not 15 minutes off the island in Florida, we witnessed (as the car directly behind it) a head on collision.  Although it happened very fast, to us it appeared to go in slow motion..... as we watched a car pull out from a full stop into head on traffic with no way to call out and warn or stop it.  By the grace of God, there were no serious injuries. I dumped our car on the side of the road and helped the elderly victims out of their car (doors crammed shut, airbags deployed) while another man called 911. Arm chair expert here diagnosed one of the elderly men with a broken wrist and a possible concussion, everyone survived what could have been a triple tragedy. The police, ambulances, and fire trucks were there in minutes.  Needless to say, when we got back on the road, I was very shaken!! My father was always very, very calm in a crisis. He was an ambulance driver in WWII, first for the British Field Service, and then for the US Army under General Patton. His calmness in an emergency wore off on all three of his children. We are pretty calm in a crisis but later need to download the stress of the event. Needless to say, this accident set the tone for a slow and cautious journey.

Our father Bill Thorn with oldest granddaughter Katrina in North Salem, NY

Our father Bill Thorn with oldest granddaughter Katrina in North Salem, NY

 

Our first stop was Palmetto Bluff to see my sister Puddy and her fantastic husband (who has been in my life since my 8th birthday party!).  Phil is our family's premier chef and superior event foodie provider. Oh how grateful I was to learn that he had made a wonderful paleo dinner to help me through my last few days of the Whole30. He'd researched what I could eat and made the most delicious steak and vegetable kabobs with a sauce to die for. Sunday was spent at the Montage Palmetto Bluff where the three girls had "spa day", lunch at the wonderful Buffalo's restaurant, and a little Christmas shopping. It was a perfect way to catch up with my sister before the holiday rush.

Photo of a garden in Palmetto Bluff by brother-in-law Phil Doetzel, who is both an amazing chef and a even more amazing photographer!

Photo of a garden in Palmetto Bluff by brother-in-law Phil Doetzel, who is both an amazing chef and a even more amazing photographer!

On Monday Brooke, little dog Finn, and I got back in the car early to head towards Vermont. While talking to my brother, known on my instagram account and in real life as....Mr. Spanky Pants..... we learned that a snow storm was going to hit our little town of Vermont at 3 am.  We had to make some quick choices. Knowing there were no snow tires on my SUV, I wanted to get to Vermont before the storm hit. The thought of being trapped for days in someone else's house or worse, a crappy motel with a little dog fueled my energy to get there. Quick thinking, Brooke and I made a plan to drop her in Maryland with my youngest son Scotty. She would fly to Boston from there and I would power through the night to get to Vermont. I literally kissed my 20 year old son Scotty on the side of the road while I handed over his sister and kept going.  I am so grateful for my family members who kept calling me through the night to check on me. My husband, sister, and stepmother win the prize, staying up much later than usual, calling to make sure I was alert and entertained for a portion of my 14 hour journey. I listened to Diane von Furstenberg read her book "The Woman I Want to Be" on that dark winter night. I am grateful for her company and wonderful stories!

My air traffic control coordinator Puddy Cat with my weather man Mr. Spanky Pants

My air traffic control coordinator Puddy Cat with my weather man Mr. Spanky Pants

Mr Spanky Pants all grown up. 

Mr Spanky Pants all grown up. 

Little dog and I arrived to a warm house in the mountains just as the snow flurries began to fall, 2:30 am on the dot.

My family has had a home in Vermont since I was 8. I went to St. Lawrence University in Canton, New York where it's literally a winter wonderland most of the school year. And I have lived in Vermont as an adult for the past 16 years. I know snow. I do snow well. This week I have had my challenges dealing with the snow. I confess to having more than one meltdown moment. I kept thinking of the movie Baby Boom which was filmed in my community. Diane Keaton finally looses it. I was getting close to that point!  We are in a new house this year, having moved over the summer. I don't know where all those winter emergency things are. I had a devil of a time turning up the hot water heater, finding the snow tires in the garage, shoveling with a garden shovel, because our snow shovel seemed to have gotten lost in the move. I cleaned off my car with a broom, dug out all the winter clothes I could find. I was snowed in for two days with only the food in the pantry. This would be no problem except I was on my last days of the Whole30. Eating non perishable pantry food was not any easy way to finish the whole30! Dinner one night was olives stuffed with garlic! These hardships were met with joy as I built large fires, watched season 2 of the Crown, face timed with my darling husband, and needlepointed fabulous Christmas ornaments. 

Identical twin sons Colin (left) and Willie (right) in "Mont". Weston, Vermont 1997

Identical twin sons Colin (left) and Willie (right) in "Mont". Weston, Vermont 1997

Eventually the plows came, our lovely mountain road has been plowed several times now and sanded beautifully. Our driveway has been plowed by a wonderful family that live nearby. I've managed to get the snow tires on the car, and to the grocery store! The trip here was arduous but oh how grateful I am to be in Vermont for the holidays. The tree went up this morning. The wrapping starts today. I've had lunch with some girlfriends and have run into others. It's SO good to be home.

I have an ample supply of needlepoint kits ready. Photos and the shop will go up tomorrow.

Safe travels to all of you as you make your way around to do your shopping, visiting, and celebrating.  And a big shout out to the emergency responders, the snowplow drivers, and the folks who make and sell snow shovels and scrapers!! 

Our family one Christmas a few years ago in Lyme, Ct

Our family one Christmas a few years ago in Lyme, Ct

LOVERMONT: Oh how we love you, Vermont

Tomorrow we head back to Vermont. To snowy, wonderful, Christmasy Vermont. Home.

 

 

When thinking about Vermont, I think about what makes Vermont so special to us. It's the childhood home of our 7 children. It's the place where Don and I met and fell in love.  It's gorgeous, or as my father would have said "God's country." But most importantly....it is the place where so many folks we love live.  Giddy with excitement about seeing our Vermont pals. xoxo

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Thanksgiving Football!!!

There is nothing quite like a unique themed party which becomes an annual family tradition.  I can honestly say my favorite party of the year is hosted by our friends Dana, Sherman, and their children. What's not to love about a family football game held on Thanksgiving morning?!?! Plus there is the added bonus of friends, food, a bonfire, a signature cocktail, and dogs....LOTS of dogs. 

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We prep our Thanksgiving meal the night before to make sure we have time to make buttermilk pancakes with Vermont maple syrup for the hungry players.

Guests arrive to the lovely mountain home with a football field set up in the back field.  Players pick teams and the football players and the audience all join in for the National Anthem.

Nothing like the National Anthem on a Thanksgiving morning

Nothing like the National Anthem on a Thanksgiving morning

John and Sherm are the stars of the the National Anthem singing!!

John and Sherm are the stars of the the National Anthem singing!!

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Some of the dogs like to play football.

Some of the dogs like to play football.

Some dogs prefer to watch the line judges eat donuts.

Some dogs prefer to watch the line judges eat donuts.

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Our amazing hostess Dana making her signature cocktails....."FANNIES"!

Our amazing hostess Dana making her signature cocktails....."FANNIES"!

The bondfire crew, chatting and drinking fannies during the game.

The bondfire crew, chatting and drinking fannies during the game.

Newest puppy in the neighborhood. 

Newest puppy in the neighborhood. 

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The purpose of the new goal post was a little confusing to the canine team. 

The purpose of the new goal post was a little confusing to the canine team. 

The St. Lawerence crew has a pow-wow.

The St. Lawerence crew has a pow-wow.

And then a cocktail for good measure.

And then a cocktail for good measure.

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Time out for a quick strategy meeting.

Time out for a quick strategy meeting.

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another fabulous Thanksgiving morning!!! 

Middle of the Night Mother

Setting tables is one of my favorite things. Sometimes I like my tables to be very glamorous. Sometimes I like them to be rather odd and quirky...Vermonty and festive. 

Lucky for me both my grandmother and mother collected gobbs of table setting goodies and my mother-in-law's pieces complement everything I have.  As I've been setting the table I've been counting my blessings.  Here are a few of the things I'm grateful for at 1 am.

1. The two youngest children upstairs with their gaggle of childhood friends all home for the holidays. My front hall is filled with shoes and I hear laughter wafting down the stairs.

2. The video our two middle boys sent us from Oregon. They made a cake today to bring to a friendsgiving party they are attending tomorrow. Oh, how we miss them, but how wonderful for 22 and 23 year olds to be out in the world finding their way.

3. The two oldest boys who are in Europe. The youngest of the two, celebrating a huge accomplishment and the oldest just arriving in Venice, my all time favorite spot.  Can't wait to talk to my Italian traveler tomorrow and share my secret spots in the city I know best.

4. Our oldest daughter and her darling beau arriving tomorrow. We have a lot of adventures coming up in the next few weeks! 

5.  My dreamboat. My apple pie baker. The head dishwasher who cheerfully cleaned up after his whirligig wife, who prepped about 8 Thanksgiving side dishes this evening. 

6. The movie channel which played Jimmy Stewart movies all night while I chopped a bazillion vegetables. Rear Window is just starting and I will have to tear myself away to sleep.

and... 

7. My St Lawrence girls.  We left an amazing girls weekend with a challenge....and a hilarious bet....to start the Whole 30. With no end date and hilarious consequences to those who fail to follow through. On day 9 and I feel FANTASTIC.....going to power through Thanksgiving. 9th day off booze, sugar, dairy, and carbs. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!! 

 

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Coming home to find this pie made by my husband was dreamy.

Thanksgiving morning! 

Thanksgiving morning! 

Needlepointer Sarah Hadden lives an extraordinary life

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I first heard about Sarah long before I met her. Everyone assumed we were friends. We are both needlepointers, we had kids around the same ages, we lived close to each other, she was doing KURA volunteer work in the school where I taught, etc, etc.. My children knew her and spoke about her often! But somehow our paths in our small community had never crossed. I can't remember where or how we ever met. The needlepoint shop, I'll bet. And from then on, it was like we have known each other forever.

Sarah is creative, funny, loving, and a woman on a mission. 

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While traveling in Kenya, Sarah found a need that was preventing some school girls from finishing their education. The lack of sanitary products meant that there was no privacy. Upon the onset of menstruation, many girls would start missing school, falling behind, dropping out, thus putting them at risk for early marriage. Rolling up her sleeves, and digging in, Vermonter Sarah Hadden decided to get those girls some maxi pads!! We are not talking about a neighborhood, or a school. This woman is providing as many sanitary products to as many girls as possible! (Insert mic drop) 

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Thus was the birth of the KURA Project. Kids Uniting For Rural Africa. www.kuraproject.org

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And away she goes...

And away she goes...

Delivery of the Opportunity kits is sometimes challenging!!

Delivery of the Opportunity kits is sometimes challenging!!

...with happy faces on the other end of the journey!

...with happy faces on the other end of the journey!

As you can imagine. This is not an easy task. You don't just start sending cases of disposable maxi pads to Northern Kenya. There was a LOT of navigation in figuring this out. Sarah found washable reusable sanitary products that were made in Africa. She then realized that underpants and soap should be part of the kits. And thus the "Opportunity Kit" was created. A kit which would last for one year. A kit which would allow a girl to stay in school. A kit which provided an opportunity for education!!! Each kit costs $25.

An Opportunity Kit includes washable pads, soap, a pair of underwear and an instruction manual. 

An Opportunity Kit includes washable pads, soap, a pair of underwear and an instruction manual.

 

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Sarah doesn't just send off money to strangers and hope this miracle happens. OH NO! Sarah oversees the delivery of each kit. Two weeks a year Sarah also personally delivers kits. The KURA Project makes sure each kit arrives in the hands of every single girl they are purchased for. 1200 kits are delivered per year. To date 5400 Opportunity kits have been delivered to 32 schools.

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And in her spare time (giggle)... Sarah, makes and sells these special silver heart necklaces modeled after a rock an adorable young friend found on a river bank in Northern Kenya. That money goes to a scholarship fund to pay school fees. Other folks in our little community in Vermont have each taken a student and are providing private scholarships. Sarah helps select the students who get these scholarships, meets with the parents, and when possible delivers hand written notes and photos between the donor and recipient families. An education for a student costs $900 per year for 4 years.

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Sarah enrolling a scholarship student on her first day of school. By boarding, this young lady is much safer than making the long walk daily back and forth to school.

Sarah enrolling a scholarship student on her first day of school. By boarding, this young lady is much safer than making the long walk daily back and forth to school.

 

Sarah will be the first to tell you that this is a group effort. She has folks who have thrown small local fundraising events in Southern Vermont and she also has a fabulous board of directors for the KURA Project.  

Board member Barbara Lowes gave each attendee a wish bracelet as a reminder of the wonderful girls who would receive Opportunity kits after this fundraiser.

Board member Barbara Lowes gave each attendee a wish bracelet as a reminder of the wonderful girls who would receive Opportunity kits after this fundraiser.

Women at the Dorset Field Club tennis fundraiser

Women at the Dorset Field Club tennis fundraiser

 

 

To learn more about the KURA Project or get involved please go read their website at

www.kuraproject.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

One more child....

I grew up in a tiny one square mile town with several large families. My childhood friends were the youngest of ten, the youngest of eight, the youngest of seven, one of six, the youngest of five, The oldest of four, etc, etc, etc.  Of course, there were plenty of us with one to three children, but I was completely in heaven when I visited the homes of the big families. My own siblings are 12 and 14 years older than I.  When I was little, there was a house full of teenagers. Their friends were a part of our family.  I loved the chaos. I stayed awake as long as humanly possible every night so I wouldn't miss overhearing one teeny detail of conversation and the happenings of my teen siblings. And then...they went off to boarding school and college...and things got quiet. It was at about that time, I decided I wanted to have ten children. 

As a teenage girl and young woman, I would happily announce that I wanted ten children. When I was in college, my father told me he needed to have a conversation with me. I knew from his tone of voice and the way he sat me down that it was serious. He told me that it was important that I stop telling boys I was dating or potential boyfriends that I wanted ten children. In his mind, this was going to drastically downgrade me in the "eligibility for marriage" category of any young suitors. Perhaps, he thought, he would have to start acquiring cows for a dowery to go with this completely illogical daughter he apparently was preparing to marry off at 20.  What he didn't realize was that this parent-child moment only encouraged me to continue talking about wanting a big family.  I knew I would need a partner who shared my same goal. Or was as crazy as I was. Little did I know that after a divorce, a few years of single parenting of 5 small children, that I would find that very man. An amazing man with two young boys who wanted to marry a woman with 5 children. At the time, my father was at the end of his life and in the throws of dementia, but oh how he would have loved this man, who dearly loved his daughter, and shared her love of this big crazy family. Seven children within seven years of age!

We lived in a big old higgilly pigilty farmhouse in Vermont. Each of the many tiny bedrooms was full. And then....kids starting going off to boarding school and college. We quickly went from 7 to 2 in what felt like no time. It was at this time that our two youngest children switched schools to a small Independent school two of our older boys had attended. At one of the new student orientation school dinners, I was approached by a friend at the school who asked me if I would be willing to take an International student. It would "only be for one month, a child from Spain" she said. There was a binder of applications and I could choose my student. Faster that you can say "Her husband wasn't there and she decided to take an 8th child without discussing it with him" I was pawing through that binder!!! With five sons and two daughters, I knew for sure I was picking a GIRL!! And I found one, one that shared several interests with our own youngest daughter. I was going to pick HER!! But then I turned the page. And I saw a girl named Patty. (My beloved mother's name). And even better...she was a TWIN. I have twins. I get twins. I had to have the twin named Patty!!  Deal Done. Signed on the dotted line. Give me Patty. And oh, yeah, I need to tell my husband...one more child. We just got one more child! YIPEEE!! Oh, and yes, I did read her interests on her application. Not one. Not one was similar to our daughter. I just picked a girl who doesn't particularly like sports and loves shopping, for a girl who was the captain of the soccer and basketball team and didn't know the names of any brands of clothes. (A Vermonter who didn't even understand how an department store worked. Truth.)

Courteney and Patty at Niagra Falls 

Courteney and Patty at Niagra Falls

 

Fate would have it that picking an 8th child who shares the name of your mother and the birth story of your sons, is the very, very best way to bring a new member into your family. That day changed our lives forever. Our smart, beautiful, smiley, funny, laughing girl arrived a day or two before school started.

Courteney and Patty at the top of Empire Bluff, Michigan

Courteney and Patty at the top of Empire Bluff, Michigan

Our lives have changed forever. Our girls have become sisters. Our other kids have a new sister. Our family has a new Patty. And our daughter Courteney, has an entirely new and additional family in Spain. 

Sisters forever

Sisters forever

The girls now go back and fourth every summer. There have been a total of 4 trips so far. Patty travels with our family and is completely and totally one of us. She has spent a summer with us in Michigan and gotten a Canadian stamp on her passport. Courteney travels to Spain where she is loved and cherished by her Spanish family. She not only has the most amazing Spanish parents, she also has a new twin brother, aunts and uncles, cousins, and abuelos. In fact, Courteney accompanied Patty on her high school class graduation trip to Ibiza (I know!!! What was I thinking?!?!) and the girls were lectured up and down on safety in both English and Spanish!! 

Patty experiencing a small town American parade where the septic cleaner throws toilet paper! 

Patty experiencing a small town American parade where the septic cleaner throws toilet paper! 

I am eternally grateful to Courteney's Spanish parents who share their precious girl with us and treat our girl like their very own. 

 

Can't wait to see where in the world this adventure takes the girls! 

Can't wait to see where in the world this adventure takes the girls!